Tonight, Cathcart Associates will compete in Paystream's equivalent of the World Cup - the Scottish recruitment 5-a-side tournament at the Powerleague in Sighthill, Edinburgh.
The question is, will they perform like Brazil or Germany?
Without being too pessimistic, the similarities to Brazil are very concerning:
* We've only reached this stage of the tournament by default
* Our star striker isn't so much "injured", more "limited" as hasn't played football for over 2 years. In fact, he hasn't done any exercise for 2 years, unless you count walking to the kitchen to make his team mates tea and coffee
* Our star defender is out. OK, not for a second booking but by picking up an injury, sustained by one of his own team mates in a training game on Monday, and has been forced to go in goals. Who is going to make all the sideways and backwards passes whilst shouting at the rest of the team now?
* Our leader has eaten too many pies
* Our midfield maestro could really do with a haircut
* Fast flowing, attacking football is a thing of the past
* We might be at home, but we're completely lost
On a more positive note, we've got some lovely new strips and we are VERY good at drinking and eating - the main event after the football.
And like all the best players, we don't have tattoos. We like to give blood too, Cristiano.